Asra Yousuf

Book by Matt Haig.

Note: Might contain spoilers.

“The only way to learn is to live.”

If there was one sentence that could summarize this book, it would be this. As the author states, “You don’t have to understand life. You just have to live it.” This message underscores the theme of the book which overall reads a lot like The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Much like The Alchemist, The Midnight Library is also about the protagonist, Nora, being on a journey only to return to where she started but wiser and stronger.

The premise of the book has Nora, in a library between life and death, living through alternate realities of her life. Through each book that she picks off the shelf of the midnight library, she visits the reality of how life would have turned out if she had made different choices. It has her experiencing her “what ifs” and in the process “burning the book of regrets” that has burdened her throughout her life. As Nora goes from being a world famous music artist to an olympic swimmer to a glacier researcher, she sees the shortcomings in each of them. Some lead her to the loss of a loved one, while some see her undergoing mental health issues while some still find her dissatisfied despite the fame and success.

The movie “Everything, Everywhere, all at once” also touches upon similar ideas – the notion that every decision we make in life sets us on a path that changes the trajectory of our lives. The enormity of these decisions are evident only years later, as multiple decisions compound to lead you to the life that you are living now.

What makes The Midnight Library an insightful read is the perspective it offers from the other side of the fence. When we think of our “What ifs”, all that comes to mind is the good that could have happened. What if I had chosen to move abroad for my undergrad? Maybe, I would have been ahead in my career. But then again, I wouldn’t have made the amazing friends I did otherwise. Each of our ‘what ifs’ lead to multi faceted outcomes- some that might appear aspirational but come at a cost. For instance, Nora always regretted not moving to Australia with her best friend. But when she eventually lived the version of her life where she did make the choice to move, she was miserable.

Which brings us to the ultimate message that Matt Haig wishes to communicate through the book- that regardless of the decisions you take in life, there will be a million other decisions you could have taken. But what is important is to appreciate what you have in the present an experience the beauty in the smaller things in life. Instead of looking back and repenting on the choices you didn’t make, be proud of the ones you did make and appreciate the places it got you to.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

Want,’ she told her, in a measured tone, ‘is an interesting word. It means lack. Sometimes if we fill that lack with something else the original want disappears entirely. Maybe you have a lack problem rather than a want problem. Maybe there is a life that you really want to live.’

Well, that you can choose choices but not outcomes. But I stand by what I said. It was a good choice. It just wasn’t a desired outcome.’

And . . . and the thing is . . . the thing is . . . what we consider to be the most successful route for us to take, actually isn’t. Because too often our view of success is about some external bullshit idea of achievement – an Olympic medal, the ideal husband, a good salary. And we have all these metrics that we try and reach. When really success isn’t something you measure, and life isn’t a race you can win. It’s all . . . bollocks, actually . . .’

Nora had always had a problem accepting herself. From as far back as she could remember, she’d had the sense that she wasn’t enough. Her parents, who both had their own insecurities, had encouraged that idea. She imagined, now, what it would be like to accept herself completely. Every mistake she had ever made. Every mark on her body. Every dream she hadn’t reached or pain she had felt. Every lust or longing she had suppressed. She imagined accepting it all. The way she accepted nature. The way she accepted a glacier or a puffin or the breach of a whale. She imagined seeing herself as just another brilliant freak of nature. Just another sentient animal, trying their best. And in doing so, she imagined what it was like to be free

It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out. But it is not the lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy. We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.

Image Credits: thunderbirdchallenge.com