Asra Yousuf

Let me first put it out there- learning skills as an adult is hard! There are fears to be overcome, mental boundaries to be crossed and new habits to be formed. As if adulting wasn’t difficult enough!

But on the other hand, there is unparalleled joy in learning something new. It opens your mind to new possibilities and allows you to explore a different side of life. And this time, there is no parent dragging you to class. You choose to learn it because you want to.

So how do you learn a skill as an adult? I would be bluffing if I said I could give a blanket answer to that. But over the course of the last couple of years, I have put myself out of my comfort zone and tried to learn things that truly scared me. Some I have succeeded at and some I am still in the process of learning. Through this journey, I have discovered some things that truly work in making the process successful and less daunting.

Set Goals that Inspire

In December 2021, I took a trip to Maui, Hawaii. The water was beautiful and the ocean was calling. But I didn’t know how to swim. A bad experience of snorkeling in Thailand had created a mental block of going into deep waters- with or without a life jacket. I snorkeled from the shore, holding the hand of an instructor, while staying in shallow waters. But I dreamed of the corals I had seen in pictures, near the Molokini Crater near Maui. So I vowed to come back one day and fearlessly jump off a boat and snorkel.

That is a goal that inspires me and has been pushing me to wake up every Saturday morning to go to swim class, for the past two months. I have gotten a lot more comfortable swimming in the deep end (provided the lifeguard is around) and can slowly feel my mental block fading.

So set yourself a goal that you look forward to. If it is learning an instrument, set a goal of being able to play your favorite song. If it is doing stand-up, then set a goal to perform at your favorite comedy club by a certain time. Goals need to be SMART, but more importantly they should be fun and inspiring.

Make a Structured Plan

Wanting to learn something and actually learning it are sadly two very different things. Past experiences tell me that buying a tennis racquet doesn’t actually teach you how to play tennis. At times, we feel immensely motivated to learn something only to have that motivation fade away as life gets in the way.

So before that motivation takes a back seat, draft a plan and commit to it. Do not overthink it. It needn’t be perfect- just a minimal viable plan that gets you started. Find classes. Reach out to people who have mastered the skill or are one level ahead of you. Make recurring plans so that you aren’t overcome with the fatigue of planning and procrastinating every other week. Set small milestones.

When I learnt to drive at the age of 27, I still wasn’t confident to take the car anywhere all by myself. So I put together a plan and listed all the places I would drive in- starting with small roads I am familiar with, getting on freeways, crossing the bridge, driving for 2 hours to Napa. I gradually pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone, little by little, and by the end of the year had mustered the courage to drive the Road to Hana, and the Trail Ridge Road- the highest continuous paved road in the United States

Be Consistent

Most skills are about building muscle memory- be it playing the guitar or acing your chess game. Learning to swim as a kid is easier not only because you do not have any fears, but also because you attend summer camp and end up swimming on a regular basis. Consistency is the key to learning most skills- the more you do it, the easier it gets. Malcolm Gladwell famously talks about putting in 10,000 hours to truly master any skills. Put in the hours, and do it regularly, and progress is bound to happen. Be consistent, and more importantly be patient.

Discipline over Speed

Recognize that learning the same skill might look different for different people. Some might quickly get a grasp of it, while some might struggle for a while before it finally clicks. It is easy to feel dejected early on and give up. So pace yourself, regardless of the progress you make. Just keep showing up with discipline and like the tortoise you will eventually outrun the hare and finish the race.

Let Go!

For the longest time, I was scared of floating on my back, in water, because I did not know how I would come back up. Until a friend told me, “Just let go and relax”, and much to my amazement it worked! When I stopped panicking and calmly let go, the water simply pushed me up.

“The whole of life becomes an act of letting go”

Yann Martel

At times all we need to do is silence our minds and not given in to the multitude of fears that are binding us. Ask yourself, “What is the worse that could happen?” and if that answer isn’t fatal, then just do it! And don’t forget to have fun.

Take out the time, overcome your inhibitions, and go learn something new. You will be surprised at how alive you feel!